remorse - water over the bridge

What if there is no “anymore”?

Guest Blog

Life Lessons: Thoughts from my Mentors

Especially fond of you I received a lot of positive feedback on my recent blog about finding balance in life. Much of my thinking comes from years of finding my way through corporate challenge after challenge while watching friends change, loved ones die, and loyalties betray. But I learned most of my life lessons from several mentors, starting with my parents and going through to several partners at Deloitte, an old boss at ABN AMRO, and a few other leaders. Below are two lessons from my Dad, one written and sent to me and my sister quite a while back. The second one was written for his wife but shared with others in the family as a reminder that we can’t let differences of opinion, arguments, politics, or other societal factors separate us from those we love. I wanted to share these lessons with you. Both really hit on the importance of finding balance before its too late.

Be well! Lead On.
Adam L. Stanley

What if there is no “anymore”?

One day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t “anymore”.

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.”

Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say “good-bye”, say “I love you.”

So while we have it, it’s best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick. This is true for marriage…..And old cars… And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close!

For Julia – An Instant Away

What if… the joy of morning love, the strength of sleepy cuddling a whispered prayer, and the over-concern he said was care…

What if… the pretty eyes, the sensuous looks, the dinners and meals,
and the sometimey fights to express how she feels…

What if the normal routine of life was shattered…
Love of life is torn and battered,
When words not spoken are ripped away,
Kisses not given, are thrown away.

What if all you have, is what we had…

You know it will happen in an instant some day,
And maybe it’s only an instant away.

What if, the apology is never given… the thought never shared.
The heart never opened, they doubted that you cared.
The curt replies, the sullen looks, imagined wrongs recorded as in books.
Sarcasm pronounced, judgment denounced,
actions studied, and criticism levied…

When the one you wouldn’t miss, becomes the one you can never kiss.
When stored anger is reduced, to a heart rending ache.
When knowledge of missed opportunities sweeps through your mind.
And in every room, new evidence of love you find.

But all you have left, is what we had…

You know it will happen in an instant some day,
And maybe it’s only an instant away.

All our trials, our struggles,our hopes and our joy;
Weight loss, job promotions, concerns for that boy.
Parental pressure, eternal release…

And all one of us will have, is what we had.
Will those memories be enough?

You know it will happen in an instant some day,
And maybe it’s only an instant away.

Thank you GOD, for letting me laugh again..but please may I never forget that I once cried.

Michael A. Stanley
Grand Prairie, TX

If you would like to guest blog or chat about your life lessons, please contact me via twitter or by posting a comment on this blog. Thanks, Adam

Adam at Sunset

Find your balance NOW!


Me and Dad

Me and Dad

One comment

  1. Many years ago, a woman told me that every night her husband would kiss her goodnight, and say,
    “See you in the morning Babe.”
    One morning she awoke and he didn’t. There was no warning, he was just gone. She said what she could not forget, and would forever miss… Were those six words of love and reassurance, “See you in the morning Babe!”
    It won’t be the major things that we miss or regret, it will be small incidents…
    Like talking late at night on the phone, riding a motorcycle together, helping with a project, getting a hug, or crying together.
    Most of us have let minor differences determine our relationships, I know I have. I have serious work to do, starting now. For my friends and family, please forgive me if I have offended you, or hurt you.

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